Below is an excerpt of my first Christian fiction novel! I've been working on this baby since 2008. Give it a read, leave me a comment and/or just leave your reaction, is it funny, interesting or not interesting? Your insight can only make me a better writer! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you like it, share it with others! Merry Christmas!!
When
the Roberts pulled up in the church parking lot, it was about thirty minutes
before the service was scheduled to start.
They were lucky to be alive after Carol’s ‘Ricky Bobby’ driving
demonstration. Daniel thought the car was going to turn over when his mom made
that last sharp turn. Daniel noticed his cousin Michelle and her son Miller
going toward the children’s church enclave but the view of Wynsome’s pale green
Volkswagen Jetta coming up the drive quickly sidetracked him.
When Wynsome put her car in
park, Daniel opened her car door. “Good morning,
how are you?” Daniel greeted her.
“Just peachy, how are you?”
“I’m good. I’m so glad to see
you.”
As Carol and Paul walked toward
the church, they heard Oneilia Sutton, the church secretary belt out, “Good
morning, God’s favorite people!” as she gave them a huge hug. The Suttons were her favorite couple at
church. They shared the same heart for
the same causes.
Carol responded, “Good
morning. Have you gotten a chance to
rest since the seasoned seniors’ celebration Friday night?”
“We sure did, Carol; I slept all
day Saturday, Ralph, explained. Ralph
and Oneilia are founding members of their church.
“Paul, we should get our propers for
showing the womenfolk how it’s done in the kitchen. We are the reason the seasoned senior’s celebration
was a success,” Ralph declared. Paul
nodded his head and waved his right hand in agreement.
Jodie, the Suttons’ only child,
looked impeccable standing next to her parents. Carol couldn’t help but notice
the real pearl accessories in her ears, on her neck and on her wrist. She even
had on make-up for a change. Carol
always thought it ideal for Daniel and Jodie to get married even though Jodie
was four years older than Daniel. Who’s to say, it could still happen. I’m not too sure about this Wynsome child,
Carol thought.
“Jodie, you look flawless in
that pearl suit,” Carol complimented her, approving of the skirt with the
perfect church hemline--a touch above the knee.
“Thank you, Mrs. Roberts,” Jodie replied
with the sincerest smile she could muster.
She really wasn’t in the mood to be social. She had a million thoughts running through
her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking
about the mess her life had become.
“Honey, those stunning red shoes
look too expensive to even touch the ground!
Five-inches! I used to be able to
wear shoes like that!” Carol went on, noticing Jodie’s hands fidgeting around
her neck.
Jodie
wondered whether the bruise on the left side of her neck was noticeable. She had tried to hide it with the collar of
her suit but wasn’t sure she had been successful. Even though she hated wearing
make-up, she wore it today to conceal the mark under her left eye.
The Suttons headed toward the
church doors and motioned for the Roberts to come along but they chose to wait
on Daniel and Wynsome. When Wynsome and
Daniel joined his parents at the side doors of the church, there was no time to
spare. Daniel quickly introduced his
crush to his parents. Paul nodded and
rushed them through the doors, “Let’s all get to our seats.”
All church members knew where the Roberts
sat. Their name was not on the pew but
it was permanently in the mind’s eye of the congregation. Any church member would take the initiative
to inform any visitor that wasn’t aware.
They got to their usual place on the right side of the pulpit just as
Michelle returned from dropping Miller off at the children’s church
enclave. Carol was overjoyed her niece had
agreed to come to church and brought her son with her.
The praise and worship team
emerged from the side doors of the sanctuary singing, “We’re blessed in the city, we’re blessed in the field, we’re blessed
when we come and when we go. We cast down every stronghold. Sickness and
poverty must cease. The devil is defeated. We are blessed.” Michelle
enjoyed the music but didn’t know exactly what to do with her limbs. She had always felt uncomfortable during
praise and worship, all the raised hands and swaying back and forth. What is
all the fuss about? It don’t take all
that.
Wynsome, on the other hand was
experiencing sensory overload. The
band’s electric guitar, saxophone, trumpet and snare drum made her want to
dance. She had to stop herself from taking
it to the club.
In the rear of the church, Jodie tried hard
to hide her boredom. Church was not
enjoyable for her anymore. It had become
a chore. She noticed an old acquaintance staring at her from the opposite side
of the church and said a silent prayer he would stop. Grunting, she whispered to
herself, another horrible mistake. When her mom nudged her, she immediately started
singing and clapping her hands though half-heartedly.
The Reverend Josephine Ashley, the new
associate minister, moved toward the pulpit, “Good Morning, Saints! Even though some parishioners continued to
stand and worship, choir members took their seats. “In the next two Wednesdays I’ll lead our
first Truthseeker’s Young Adult forum for ages 18-35. This is not ‘yo’ mama’s bible study’ so
please, young people, come out.”
Rev. Ashley had been trying to make some
major changes at the church and she hoped this one would get more young people
involved and desiring to serve God. Her
description intrigued Daniel and he made a mental note to attend. I hope I can convince Michelle and Wynsome
to come too.
After Rev. Ashley took her seat, Pastor
Longhorn moved toward the pulpit for his weekly message. “Good Morning, Church.” Brother Odell King
responded loudly from the far recesses of the church, “Mo’ning, Mo’ning,” in
his familiar southern drawl. Brother
King was well known for responding to Pastor in the most unusual of ways. At any point during the service, he might yell
“shut up,” “sho’ nuff,” “trying to get to heaven,” or “I swone it,” his way of
saying I swear. The teenagers cast lots to predict what he would say next. His-five-foot-five inch-stature, potbelly,
and baby hands added to his caricature-like persona. Brother King was normally
the first person at church and the last one to leave. After all, when he was in the world, he was
always the first person in the shot house and the last one out, so he brought
that same mentality to the Lord’s house.
“This morning, I would like to
take a few minutes to start a new series,” Pastor Longhorn began. This is especially for our college students
going off to school, but don’t you grown folks stop listening. The Lord has
something in this message for you today too.
For you all taking notes, and all of you should be taking notes, the
title of today’s lesson is ‘New Beginnings.’
It’s a new school year, with new academic challenges, new peers, new
temptations and new freedoms. Some of
you non-students may need to make a fresh commitment to the Lord, on your jobs,
or to your spouses. Amen? “
“Amen!” the congregation responded.
“Our text today comes from 1 Peter 2:16 and
2 Peter 1:5-11. Ready? Read-1 Peter 2:16:
‘Live as free men, but do not use your
freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.’ College students, you will experience freedoms
you have never had before. You must be prepared to make your own choices--the
right choices--when your parents are not present. Amen?”
“Shut up!” Brother King yelled.
Startled and confused, Wynsome
looked around. Who in the world would say that while someone is speaking, she
asked herself. The teenagers seemed to
know exactly what was going on. They let out a chorus of snickers from the teen
corner on the left side of the pulpit.
“We like to dwell on the free
men, free will part of this verse but this verse also says we should live as servants
of God. Some of you may be thinking,
what exactly are you trying to say, Pastor?
Well let’s take a look at 2 Peter 1: 5-11. . .“
“I’m running out of time so
I’ll make this brief,” Pastor Longhorn said. “I know a lot of you have sending-off
celebrations after church today.”
“Amen,” Michelle mumbled.
“In my reading,” Pastor
Longhorn continued, “the word self-control
stayed in my Spirit and I continued to meditate on it. Then I heard the Holy Spirit say to me-
remind your congregation that when temptations come, they must be steadfast so
the world can see we are truly servants of God.
This is how we produce fruit and effectiveness for the Lord our God.
Amen?” The church said Amen.
